| When the WITCH and the WRAITH unite, the forces of evil will spread in the form of howling-winds of death and THE HORROR-MOOD will consume your souls forever until you are nothing but ashes! – Greg Grandy Long thought to be only a sick rumor in the underground horror collecting community, a single copy of SPOOKY VOL. 2 has finally been unearthed! Police and forensic crews working at the charred remains of the home of juvenile serial killer Gregory Grandy made the startling discovery on Sunday in Parma, Ohio. The 17-year old Grandy is said to be on the run after allegedly murdering his parents in a "satanic rock-n-roll ritual" and setting fire to their home on Saturday night. The long-lost follow up to 2014's haunting SPOOKY ep, was often thought not to exist. That first horrifying issue found Detroit's ACID WITCH bonded in blood with Cleveland's NUNSLAUGHTER. It ended up selling 24 million copies in the United States alone and was often the target of ire by Christian evangelical groups and parental organizations. However, according to eyewitness reports, this new issue finds New York's VAULTWRAITH bringing forth their unique and bone-chilling brand of SKELETON-METAL with 2 exclusive songs recorded for the unholy split with their blood-brothers in ACID WITCH, the evil HALLOWEEN-METAL messiahs! The mysterious record was said to be found in the remnants of the basement as police searched for the remains of some of Grandy's 17 known victims. Police Chief Stevo DeRose said the record was found in a secret locked room filled with heavy metal LP's, Spanish horror DVD's, empty whiskey bottles, human body parts and empty candy wrappers. When asked to elaborate about what was found ON the record, Chief DeRose was quoted as saying. "Listen, I don't know what that sick fuck was doing down there but I fucking listened to it, and due to the on-going investigation, all I can say at the moment is that VAULTWRAITH'S 'PROPHECY OF THE BLACK SPIDER' is a Demonic-Crossover-Thrash ripper that celebrates the undead legions from the desecrated burial grounds. Featuring your favorite breast-tearing mutant along with the zombified professor of death. This song is guaranteed to make you thrash yourself into oblivion..." When approached for comment on the shocking situation, Mayor Frank San Julian had a more somber tone. After offering condolences to the victim's family's, the embattled city chief had this to say. "While I recognize this is a very difficult time for everyone involved, I've also been fucking waiting for this since it was recorded in 2017. Umm… From what I understand, both ACID WITCH'S new track 'JENIFER' and VAULTWRAITH'S 'BEWITCH & BEDEVIL' are original and atmospheric tales of doom and gloom. Both seem to be inspired by classic CREEPY, EERIE & VAMPIRELLA comics from the 1970s. 'JENIFER' is a sad tale of forlorn love gone wrong inspired by the Wrightson comic of the same name…an immortal "folk-horror" classic, just like BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW, which my initial sources are telling me has some strange influence on the track 'BEWITCH & BEDEVIL'. I think it's safe to finally say that the witches, devils, and snarling wolves that all come out at night and chant the lines from these morbid HORROR-METAL tunes, will haunt your senses until you die from the tremors of fear..." Even the hazmat crew said they've never heard of anything like this happening before. A worker for Joe's Streetcleaner Service, who wished to remain anonymous and would only give his name as "Rob", was asked what he thought of ACID WITCH'S final new song "CINEMA WASTED"? "I didn't really care for it…it was too fast and thrashing for ACID WITCH. I also think it might be about that weirdo horror convention up there at the Holiday Inn in Strongsville. That's just dumb. But I don't know…shit doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I wouldn't wanna see this get out into the community." Of course, controversial Cleveland satanic vinyl peddlers, HELL'S HEADBANGERS have vowed to obtain the only known copy of SPOOKY VOL. 2 and reproduce it for the masses. Greg Grandy currently remains at large. He was last seen wearing an oversized denim vest covered in patches of all the heavy bands. He is considered desperate, armed and dangerous and may be under the influence of mind-altering drugs and German beer. If seen, do not approach. Immediately contact HELLSHEADBANGERS.COM |
